THROWING CHILDREN INTO THE DUNGEON *UNDER* THE FUCKING DUNGEON. I WAS ABSOLUTELY ENTHRALLED BY THE PURE DYNASTIC OWNAGE THAT CKII OFFERS. AND MAN FOR AWHILE I JUST DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK. SEE HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED: ONE FINE DAY A STRANGER MATERIALIZED OUT OF NOWHERE TO GIFT THIS THING TO ME LIKE A GODDAMN MONKEY'S PAW, THEN DISAPPEARED IN A PUFF OF SMOKE, AND BEFORE I KNEW IT MY VERY FUCKING LIFE FORCE WAS BEING DRAINED. YOU'LL SIT THERE, HUNCHED OVER YOUR FUCKING LAPTOP PLAYING THIS SHIT AND CURSING YOURSELF FOR HAVING TO TAKE A PISS INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING UP AND TAKING THAT PISS. IT'LL SNATCH YOUR WEEKEND LIKE THE FUCKING POLICE. I'M HERE AS A PUBLIC SERVICE TO TELL YOU TO APPROACH THIS SHIT WITH CAUTION BECAUSE CRUSADER KINGS II IS ALL-CONSUMING. YEAH YEAH THIS GAME'S FOUR YEARS OLD, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I prefer this short 'story' (even though it's nothing spectacular) to all those 'cinematic cutscenes' in the world, because I experienced it in the game, no one else wrote it. This experience and 'story' is only possible in CK2. Even though it's nothing compared to some of the CK2 'stories' on the internet, wanted to share it with you (and sorry if my English is bad). And, someday, he'll rule both Éire and Scotland. Shortly after, I and my wife were blessed with a son. He died and the niece, who was now my wife, became the queen and the ruler of Scotland. As my son, I married the niece and then ordered the assassination of my brother-in-law. As I said, I was an old depressed king, so, it was time for suicide. Both of them died "under suspicious circumstances". The next people who had to die were my daughter-in-law the niece's husband. His nephew became the king and his niece (who was my courtier now) became the heir to the throne of Scotland. Then, I assassinated the current king of Scotland. (She wouldn't come to my court with invitation). Then, I proposed a marriage between the king's niece and one of my courtiers to have her in my court and also prevent her marriage with people I'm not sure I can kill. First, I proposed a marriage between the king's nephew and my daughter in case my plan goes wrong. I noticed that King of Scotland has no children and next people in the line of succession were his young and unmarried nephew and niece.
I was an old depressed (yet really successful, wealthy and well-loved) king and ruled Éire.
Tfw you manage to become a king in CK2 without war and just by marrying and assassinating the right people.